Testing of faith

Well, we have hit a small bump in the road. We are VERY close to having our home study complete and approved. I made a phone call to the ministry that we are working with to raise money and who had offered us a "grant". There was a HUGE misunderstanding in the wording of their letter to us and we have not received a grant of "95% of the funds earmarked for our adoption". We will receive 95% of the funds earmarked for our adoption. What? Are you confused too? It goes like this, if you donate $100 then we would receive 95% of that $100. Not 95% of the $20,000 that we originally thought. Chris and I feel a little bit mislead, angry, embarrassed and frustrated. What then, is the purpose of this "ministry". They are basically a "bank" for our donated money, they also take care of setting it up so that people can donate and get a tax deduction, all the while using 5% of our donated money. We understood that when we decided to join up with them, but we also feel a little mislead with the wording of the 95% comment. The day we got the letter I even called to get clarification and she just repeated what the letter said. I still felt a bit confused but didn't push the issue because I didn't want to be a bother. I do that way too often and I feel so dumb now.

So what is the moral of the story you ask? Do your research! Push through until you get clear answers! We have learned a hard lesson. This is not a process that will just "happen". The Lord has a plan for our life and for the life of the child or children that we are going to adopt. This will move in His timing, not in ours. We have taken this as a wake up call. Do we really want this? Are we willing to put in the hard work it will take to bring our baby home? The answer is YES! We believe that this is something our family is supposed to take on. We will do whatever it takes. There are so many other things that happened this week along with our news from the fundraising ministry that have made us open our eyes. Nothing in life is a coincidence. It is all Gods plan, He is in control after all, not us.

I was reading an old My Utmost for His Highest passage this morning; Every time my theology becomes clear to my own mind, I encounter something that contradicts it. As soon as I say, "I believe ’God shall supply all [my] need,’ " the testing of my faith begins ( Philippians 4:19 ). When my strength runs dry and my vision is blinded, will I endure this trial of my faith victoriously or will I turn back in defeat? How timely! Will we continue to trust God even when times are tough, even during trials? YES!

So- the money situation is grim but not hopeless. We are $1000 short of our first fee that is due to the adoption agency. That fee will get us in the "system" and start our training process. We will take this thing one fee at a time. That's all we can do! Sometime in the near future we are going to have a pig roast (some VERY generous and thoughtful friends have already donated the pig! thanks s & r!), and we will probably have another yard sale sometime soon. Any other ideas???

Note: For those of you that have donated via the fundraising ministry, rest assured that your money will be going to the cause you gave to. Our children! We will use what we have so far to pay towards our first fee and then just close out our account with them. We are currently looking into other ways for people to make donations that are tax deductible. We are also looking for real grant money!
Sorry for such a long post!