prepared...or not.

God prepared our hearts and we took the leap of faith...

We prepared our family, by sharing the news and assuring them that this is something we have to do.

We prepared our church and they came along side us, financially and prayerfully.

We prepared our house; painting rooms, setting up bunk beds, rearranging space to make 4 kids fit in our humble abode.

I prepared my mind by reading all the books and made myself aware of some of the negatives of adoption causing me to stand firm in what God has called us to do.

What I wasn't prepared for was still not having two more children in our home...TWO YEARS LATER.

What I wasn't prepared for was being smacked in the face with sadness when I realize that M and G are missing out on another holiday, summer, birthday, etc. with our family.

What I wasn't prepared for was the longing that comes with the knowledge of knowing our family is not complete and two children are missing.

What I wasn't prepared for was wondering if we were really cut out for this.

I pray, I ask why and why not. I wonder constantly WHEN! The one thing I am sure of is that I haven't lost HOPE. Someone asked me today if I was still sure we were supposed to adopt. I know- without a shadow of a doubt that we are. I know that there are two little girls in Ethiopia, Africa waiting for Chris and I to come and get them and become their daddy and mommy. I will wait forever for them. I will pray for them, hope for them and long for them until the Ethiopian government tells me we can't adopt them. Even then, if that day ever comes to pass, M and G will forever be a part of our lives.

We might never know why our adoption story has played out this way. All I can be sure of is how I react and respond. The waiting is hard and frustrating at times but God's Word gives me comfort. "So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal."
2 Corinthians 4:16-18

We have no update, we have no news. We are at the mercy of the Ethiopian courts and what they decide, whenever they feel like it I guess. We do get tidbits of information, but at this point, until we get "the call"-- we don't know what to believe.

Praying, hoping, trusting, never giving up!