Three months have passed since our world was turned upside down and our adoption agency called and said that they would no longer work on our case. We were dealt with in a rude and inappropriate manner and told that we were "not patient enough and not understanding of the process". Although we have always felt that something wasn't quite right with Hope Adoption Agency, being treated in this manner and having the rug pulled out from underneath us was quite surprising.
That phone call started a whirlwind of filing complaints, making contacts and trying to get some answers. Through all of this, many people have contacted me and the unfortunate and sad side of Ethiopian adoption has been brought to our attention. A handful of families have had less than positive experiences with Hope Adoption Agency and there is evidence of Hope Adoption Agency being involved in accepting bribes for children, allowing children to be adopted with false paperwork, and lying about the origins of a child. I have also received emails from people not with Hope Adoption Agency, stating that their children were in fact trafficked. We recently and surprisingly received our money back. This does not make things better or cover up the lies, mistakes and mistreatment.
We have been in contact with a couple of national news outlets sharing our story and the information that we have been made privy to. We will not stand for this, nobody should. Recent rulings have been passed in Ethiopia to create more transparency and more accountability with adoption agencies. This is such encouraging news and we are glad to see that our complaints and the complaints of others are being taken seriously.
As of right now we don't think that we will ever be able to adopt M and G. The only thing we know for sure is that we will speak out for the orphans of Ethiopia (and of the world for that matter), and be advocates for ethical and upright adoptions. This experience has shown us how bound by fear adoptive families get. We were one of them. So many families are scared to speak out and ask questions, for fear that their adoption would be jeopardized, lose money, or worse have long term effects on the adoption system in Ethiopia or the US. These are all valid concerns- but at what cost are we going to remain silent? Do we enter into this process for our own selfish desires? I pray not.
We will continue to exhaust the options to find out about M and G. We will continue to pray. We will never EVER forget them. We are praying that God would make a way for us to at least visit them someday, and possibly care for them and be a part of their lives long distance. Only God knows what the plan is for our family and for M and G.
Please pray for M and G. Please pray that someone will be able to tell them the TRUTH, and that their hearts would be protected. Pray that they know Jesus. Also pray for us, for our faith to be restored and strong. We know that God is holding us and keeping us in His care, but I have a broken heart. The only thing I know to compare to this feeling is a miscarriage. The dream of two beautiful daughters being added to our family has been ripped away from us and my womb (heart) is empty.
9 comments:
My heart is breaking for you guys and everything you are going through. We will be praying. All of what you said is so true about being paralyzed by fear.
I think too that at some point we automatically assume that life in America is better than whatever situation they are in there. So we turn a blind eye to the things that go on.
I hope the new rules in Ethiopia will help with all of this, despite the additional burden they put on adoptive parents.
I am so sorry. I applaud you for speaking out...this is a beautiful post.
My heart aches for you ~ and for M and G. Only God knows the outcome...and you can be assured that His plan will be accomplished. ( Eph. 1:11; Eph. 3:14-19)
May God be glorified in you through all of this.
Becky and Chris,
Praying for you and M and G. I cannot even begin to fully understand the hurt and frustration that you are going through right now.
Praying for your faith and strength and hope and restored joy. Praying every day for M and G to know how much they are wanted and loved and are not forgotten and for the reality of God's love to cover them and all the other orphans in the home.
I am praying for justice in their case, that all would be set right. If these precious girls were indeed trafficked and their bio families are trying desperately to find them, I pray they would be returned. Praying that the truth would come out about Hope Adoption Agency.
Love and hugs and prayers,
Debi
Becky and Chris,
I had been checking your blog and hoping for good news. This is so heartbreaking and hard.
Praying for you and M and G daily.
Praying for God's strength and hope and faith as you walk this hard path.
I am praying for M and G, that they would be covered by God's love and protection and they would know how loved and wanted they are and that they are not forgotten.
I am praying that the truth would come out about the Hope Adoption Agency.
Love and hugs and prayers,
Debi
OH! We are so sorry to hear this heart breaking news. No words can make up for the grief you are feeling now but we truly are grieving with you. We will be lifting you up in prayer as you consider the next step for you family. I'm also going to link to your post as warning to other families.
Becky...I am sure they do not know this....but I think it is very interesting, that your blog is linked off the Hope Adoption Agency page, as one of the Hope Families. Maybe some folks will go to it from there and read this....
I did.
praying with you
This is the only way I know to contact you, you don't need to publish this comment. I am so sorry that you have been going through this and I know you are suffering a real loss. BUT, we adopted two unrelated children a year ago, only to discover the 6 year old girl, who is more like 8+ told us that her aunt that we met is really her mother and her father is alive (they supposedly died of AIDS) and there is a little brother. Honestly, this little girl was content and happy with her birth family. It has been a difficult year because we all knew in our hearts something was not right and we couldn't quite bond with her. My bio daughter is in ET right now on a mission trip in the same town the children are from and is meeting with birth family sometime over the next week (this is SO God). We hope to find out some truth and if her birth parents were tricked or deceived into giving her up. If they have deep regret, then we begin the journey of trying to reunite them, if they don't, then we begin the journey of healing for this little girl who feels her family abandoned her and our family abducted her. I don't know the whole story with the girls you were trying to adopt, but I wish that the door would have been closed to our adoption. Hoping God will reveal His plan in our family and that He will be glorified in it, but it has been extremely difficult and still is to feel that you have taken a child from their family, thinking you were rescuing an orphan. The thing that I am finding out about most older children adopted from ET is that they are not happy here, they have already been deeply rooted in their birth country and culture. Some of them grow up and choose to go back to live there. Our little girl likes it here okay, but would rather be with her birth family. I don't blame her. I would rather live in the woods with no shelter with my family than live in luxury without them. I hope that you will be able to help them from here, this is what we will do if she goes back. Anyway, I don't want to sound like I am saying you are better off, but just to let you know the difficulties of our situation and maybe help you have peace about why this happened to you. Could have been God's mercy and grace on your family especially if you already have children. People don't understand fully what these children from ET go through and how traumatic it is for them. It is truly horrific what they go through to get here. The extreme change of culture, it's very overwhelming to them. So many I have heard of need counseling, ours will if she stays. Anyway, could go on and on, bottom line is that we have to trust God's plan for what is best for us, our families and the children. I honestly think they should shut down international adoptions in ET until they can better regulate the process over there and they will stop pulling children out of families to adopt out as orphans. Hope this helps you a little. Blessings to you and your family.
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